Saturday, August 8, 2009

Just a Thought

Usually I do fine but occasionally I get into an unthankful mood and complain and gripe about my life. Lame I know. Because I am so lucky in so many ways.

Chris works out of town I'm guessing between 10-25 weeks out of the year. I have no idea how many exactly. I don't keep track and don't realize those weeks add up to a lot. I just take them as they come, bite the bullet, and do what I have to do. Often when he goes, it is for several weeks at a time, coming home on the weekends. We barely have enough time to do the things that we have to on the weekend which means I still don't get to have my own time.

Things that I would like to do get placed on the back burner. I miss activities left and right because no one is really around to watch my kids so I can attend. I get jeolous that my degree is going to pots while his is flourishing. He gets to associate with adults and have intelletual conversations or adult conversation while I might not socialize with another adult for days/weeks. My activities for the day may include a choice between cleaning toilets or pulling weeds. I can handle only so many park days, play dates, and running around before it gets old.

I have to be frugal about the type of activities we do and often have to do things that don't cost a thing which can get old quickly. I feel really bound sometimes.

I've heard plenty of moms say they'd go crazy if they didn't get to do this or that. There has to be an outlet and it helps to be a better mother. yadayadayada.

well I haven't had one in a while and I'm feeling a little LOCA. ;0). Which means crazy in Spanish.


  1. I did the "single" parent thing for 3 years and it is no fun! Look at it this way instead of wishing Cris were always here with you and your boys think of the everyday family things he is is really sad. That pulled me out of my poor me, stuck home with the kiddos real quick. I appreciated the sacrifice my dh made to put a roof over our head and food on the have to go where the jobs are and unfortunately his took him out of state :( I am thankful for all the outings with my boys and try to walk in my dh's shoes....I couldn't do it being alone and away from my family and that is the truth. He has been home for 8 weeks now (and that has been a big adjustment for all of us) but he has to start traveling again in October :( I try to look at the bright side, so many don't have jobs right now so I am thankful he does :) *stepping off my soap box* LOL

  2. It's obvious that I'm not counting my blessings but it is a rare occasion when I feel this tied down and I have some good reasons to be right now. I just get into these down moods every once in a while. Tonight the boys and I went to a new playground. Vy had been eyeing it all weeks everytime we dropped Toki off for camp. We finally went today. It was so fun. All four of us played on the see saw and laughed our heads off. I watched the boys make friends and enjoyed watching the interactions of the families there enjoying each others company. The weather was really cool, like Fall, and I got all excited about Halloween and all the fun Fall festivities. My kids made me laugh and I loved watching them. Everyone trying to get my attention "look at me." Lolo coming up to me several times to give me a hug and tell me he loves me as he does all day long. There is so much to be thankful for. I just have to get through this bump in the road right now. I'm hoping it will be short lived.

  3. It's normal for you to feel this way, myself included. Being a single parent while your spouse is gone for work at times isn't much fun. It's downright HARD. I think it's great that you can be honest about how you feel, at the same time see both sides of your situation. I think blogging about something like this is refreshing because it shows the reality of what so many LDS women are feelings but are afraid to voice out loud for fear of being chastise or seen as lacking faith. Thanks for sharing and allowing me to know that there are others out there who feels the same way as I do at times and that's it's OKAY. I'm also hoping that this is short lived too. When your daily functioning gets impaired by all this, I'll start worrying about you :)

  4. Nate doesn't work out of town much, so I can't relate a lot on that, but I understand like any mom that alone time is a necessity sometimes. A girl in our neighborhood started a babysitting co-op and it has been so nice! You can drop your kids off (in exchange for tickets) and not feel bad that you are burdening someone and then go and do whatever you want - even if it is just a nap at home, alone. I don't know if that is something people in your neighborhood would do, but it has been totally awesome.

  5. Wow, you're tough. My wife goes nuts if I get home from work after 7:00 PM more than once or twice a week. I think what you are doing is admirable!

  6. Our situations are a little different, but similar enough that I understand what you are feeling. Being a homeschool mom was a big adjustment for me this past year. Jon had such a heavy load at school that there were multiple days every week that he wouldn't get home until 10:30. After a full day with the kids and no break, I had had it some days. You are right though. It won't last forever and you are being honest about what you are feeling which is healthy. Just remember there are so many people who feel the same way, even if their circumstances are different. You are a great mom and your boys, Chris included, are lucky to have you.